


That was a part of why I loved him.

by Aris2410



Category: Bloodlines Series - Richelle Mead, Vampire Academy & Related Fandoms, Vampire Academy Series - Richelle Mead
Genre: Books, Caretaking, F/M, Fever, Forbidden Love, Love, Sickfic, Vampires, sick dimitri belikov, stubborn Dimitri
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-28 05:09:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20420441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aris2410/pseuds/Aris2410
Summary: -Don't tell me you caught it while we were making snow angels yesterday.- I told you one of us is going to end up sick- A small smile played on his mouth. He was sweating and I could see wisps of hair sticking to his forehead. How in God's sake I haven't noticed it before.





	That was a part of why I loved him.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you'll like. More chapters coming up soon.

An unexpected memory came back to me. Dimitri got permission to take me to the meeting in Idaho during the weekend. He settled on with some guardians there. I didn't have a desire to explore but I was happy to go with him. Dimitri convinced school authorities that it'll be "a valuable experience" for me. It wasn't long after Mason's death which was a tragedy for the whole school and I think that during this time they would have let me do anything. Unfortunately, we didn't have time for lazy exploring and all the more for any romances. Dimitri had to complete his task. We were driving fast and stopping over only when necessary. Taking into account our last trip when we found butchered moroi's corpses I should enjoy the fact that this time nothing excentric happened to us. As always Dimitri wouldn't let me drive in spite of my assurances that I'll bring us to the spot a lot faster. Maybe that's the reason he wouldn't let me do that. We stopped over at the gas station once to fuel and snack something. We were in a small town located in the same backcountry as St. Vladimir's Academy. When the sky was cloudless we could see the mountains from our school's courtyard but right now we were really high. Rocky ridges were piling up around us. They were so close that I would swear that I'm able to jump from one to another. I glanced over at Dimitri who was fiddling with the car. And holding a sandwich in one hand I went behind the building to fill with the views. The gas station was the only place here to suggest a civilization still exists here. Besides it, there was an imponderable space distending. Pine forest covered with snow was standing still quietly and only from afar I could hear sounds of the freeway. I haven't dealt with Mason's death yet. Nightmares about strigoi's prisoning us were distressing me during nights. This magnificent view hasn't made me stop hurting but for a short moment allied it. I was looking at the thick covering of snow and suddenly my mind was intruded by a crazy thought. I fell to the snow on my back letting myself to embed into the soft fluff. I was laying like that sating this moment of rest. I was moving my legs and arms signifying new marks on the snow. I did not want to stand up. I was resting while staring at the blue sky.   
-What are you doing?- Dimitri asked.-Your sandwich is going to be cold.  
I saw his shadow above me and I looked at the guardian's straightened silhouette. It was cold but the sun glims were brightening his wisps. I thought he looked like an angel.   
-I'm doing a snow angel-I explained.-Haven't you done this before?  
-A long time ago, yes. You'll catch a cold.  
I wore a warm jacket, hat and gloves. I was wrapped up. But Dimitri was right about the sandwich.  
-I'm not cold, maybe just my cheeks are a little bit.  
He shook his head with a smile on his lips.  
-You'll feel that you're cold after you get into the car and the snow will start to melt on you.  
-You worry more about the car than my health.  
He laughed.  
-I'm worried that you'll get sick  
-In this down? I'll be just fine- I patted the snow next to me.-Come on, make an angel and we can go.  
He would still look at me from above.  
\- Now you want us both to get sick?  
-I want you to chill out. We can imprint ourselves in Idaho. By the way, there is nothing to be afraid of. You must have immunized yourself to freezing cold on your Siberia.   
He sighed but didn't stop smiling. That was enough to warm me up during this winter day.  
\- The same again. You think that on Siberia there are the same conditions as on Antarctica I'm from the south so the climate is very similar to the one here.  
-You're looking for excuses- I said.- Lay down or you'll have to force me to go to the car.  
And surprisingly he did what I asked for. He lied next to me and for the moment everything felt right. I started to think that in the other parallel world we might be together and buy a house in a place like this. We would spend all our time with each other and we would come first. But I immediately came back to the reality where we both were guardians and right now it was time to get up. Rough times I thought. I was about to admonish Dimitri, of course, against my will, that it's time to go but he got up first and then helped me do the same.  
We went to the car and after a moment driving a realized that Dimitri was right. The snow started to melt and I was getting really cold but there was no possibility that I'll let him know about it. I was Rose Hathaway a strong guardian I couldn't be taken down by snow. Well easy to say. After about half an hour I was sure I'll start to shiver in a moment. I heated up the car a little and took my jacket off but my hair and jeans were still soaked. I glazed over at Dimitri. His hair was also wet and I could see some agglutinated wisps from which water was dripping. He looked really attractive. I stared at his hands on the steering wheel for a moment. I just really wanted to touch this hand. Even if everything around seemed cold I just knew that his hands were warm as always. As warm as his brown eyes. If I could only dab his hand I will be warm again. I knew that. But there were shoulds and shouldn'ts in this world and this one was definitely a shouldn't. I sighed.  
-What's wrong Rose?- Dimitri asked. He sounded tired. Surely he was. He was driving for about 12 hours by now. But I could also hear that he was happy in my companion right now. As I thought when I looked at him he was smiling. I thought his hand would be warm but this was boiling hot.   
-I was just thinking about some other parallel worlds. Specifically, the one in which I would be able to buy a house in the mountains like this and live happily ever after with no worries about Lissa, my reputation, exams or strigoi. Have you ever wondered how it would be to be normal?- I opened my heart to him. I just knew he would understand he always does. I knew he was committed to his duties but he would still understand.  
\- Oh, Roza.-I was really surprised. It did not happen frequently. Him calling me this name. Also, I could hear so much sensation and comprehension in his voice.  
\- I do think about it sometime but it's just a waste of time. We can't change our destination. You want to help Lissa so you have to fulfil your duties. You have to be watchful all the time, that's right but there are some nice normal moments. Like making snow angels while eating a sandwich.-He grinned when he finished.  
He was right. My work was worth all of this. If I were normal I wouldn't have met Dimitri and I wouldn't be able to protect Lissa.  
\- Well, that was accurate comrade but my sandwich wasn't good enough to be worth all of this- I joked. He was worth all of it but saying that out loud was one of the shouldn'ts so I kept that deep in my heart. I looked at him once again. I was still really cold but decided to fall asleep for a moment or two. I wasn't that tired but I just had to take a five from Dimitri, he was too attractive to deal with in reality. Just before falling asleep I could swear I saw him shiver. So my God from Siberia isn't as resistant to the cold as I thought. He seemed more human-like to me at that moment. I smiled at him and then I dropped off. I had one of those nightmares about Mason. I saw those red strigoi's eyes close by my face. In the background, there was Mason he was trying to scream but couldn't make a sound. I wanted to tear strigoi into pieces but I couldn't move and suddenly the red-eyed demon started to laugh and a second later he broke my friend's neck. And I heard this animal-like scream brought out from Mason's throat. Suddenly I was back in the car but we were neither driving nor at the Academy. We were standing on the wayside. Dimitri was staring at me with a concerned look in his eyes. I realized that this scary roar came out from my throat, not Mason's.   
-What was that Rose?  
I was covered in sweat. I had to calm down. Dimitri was right beside me and suddenly he took my hand and looked in my eyes. I loved those eyes, those brown eyes which could see through my soul.  
-I had a nightmare- I was surprised that I could say a word even though Dimitri was so close.  
-Was that a vision?- It was shocking how caring he could be out of nowhere.   
I disclaimed with a simple nod. And suddenly he hugged me. I had no idea what was actually going on and if I hadn't just woken up I would be sure that I was dreaming. I put my mind at ease. I was sitting in a car, next to the man I love who was there for me. I had to be strong for him, for Lisa and for myself.  
-I was dreaming about Mason but I'm just fine now comrade. How long is it to the Academy?- He let me go and in a second the official Dimitri was back. I was mad at myself. I could be quiet for a moment longer just to stay in his arms. But good things can't last forever.  
-About an hour Roza.-He responded. He called me Roza second time this day. He wanted me. I could feel that. I bet he was thinking about us and what we would do if we could.   
-Your cloak is wet and cold. You should take it off- I surprised myself by saying that. He was about to start the engine but when he heard me a small smile played over his lips and he did what I asked for. Then we set off. We weren't talking any more just listening to music and then we arrived. I was dramatically tired so I immediately went straight to my room. I took a quick shower to warm myself up and then I decided to have a look at Lissa's but she was with Christian so there was no place for me. I came back and fell asleep.   
My next day was starting with training with Dimitri.   
I walked to the gym slowly. I was still tired because of yesterday and because of everything.  
As soon as I walked in I could see Dimitri. He was leaning against a wall and reading one of his western stories. I couldn't resist and smiled.  
-Good morning comrade- I shouted and he turned back. It was quite unusual for him to not hear me before I said something. Maybe this book was more interesting than the previous ones.  
-Hello Rose. Start with weight training. 3 series.- He commanded. He sounded tired. I was training and he stayed silent. That wasn't normal for him. Normally he would start talking to me about school and then tease me because I'm too slow and then he would give me one of those smiles. But today he hasn't said a word.  
-Is everything all right Dimitri?-I asked after about half an hour of him acting weirdly.  
He was sitting right now and he even skipped reading at that moment. Instead of a regular response, he started to cough. It was a chesty coughing fit. I run up to him. As soon as I reached him I realized that he was burning up.  
-I'm fine Rose- He said getting rid of a cough. And then he knocked off my hand.  
-Well, comrade. You can't fool me like that. You're burning up and I can't believe that you're sick.-He was a God how could he be sick. He was adorable but how stupid of him to come to our training with a fever.  
-I'm an adult and believe me or not I can survive a little cold.  
-Don't tell me you caught it while we were making snow angels yesterday.  
\- I told you one of us is going to end up sick- A small smile played on his mouth. He was sweating and I could see wisps of hair sticking to his forehead. How in God's sake I haven't noticed it before.  
-I think you should go to bed and lay down-I expressed my opinion even though I knew he was not going to listen. He was too proud and self-contained.  
-Rose I can...-he was interrupted with another coughing fit. I just held his hand. He looked so weak at that moment. His whole body was shaking and he looked like he was in pain.   
-You are going to bed Dimitri. And I am taking care of you. Look at you if there is a Strigoi attack right now you would get us both killed. You must get better.  
-You're so stubborn Roza. I am really okay but if it'll make you feel better I can take a day off.   
I just nodded with approval. He then stood up and was about to leave.   
-You don't think you're going alone right? I've already said that I will take care of you.  
-Oh, Rose, I don't think it's a good i...-I just took his hand and then added.  
-There is no way I'm leaving you like this.  
It was Saturday so I could spend the whole day with Dimitri. We managed to get to his room.   
I made him lay down on the bed. He really was sick. He wasn't even complaining about me telling him what to do. And as soon as he put his body on the bed he fell asleep. I took his temperature. 39 degrees C. That was not good. He was coughing thru the sleep. I put a cold wet cloth on his forehead and then I went to see what's Lissa doing. She was with the Fire Boy again. They were reading some books in their secret spot. She was flirting with him. Playing with her hair. I find it funny that they know each other for such a long time and she still did it. I came back. Brought by the sound of a sneeze. It was Dimitri he was sitting on the bed now and then sneezed two more times. I wondered if he always sneezes triples or just now. I've never heard him sneeze before. There were so many things I didn't know about him.   
-Bless you, comrade. How are you feeling?- I sounded more concerned than I wanted to.   
\- I'm fine. You really can go and rest. -He sounded congested. I handed him a tissue  
-Thank you. I have to get up soon too. I have a meeting with other guardians. But I do feel better now after I slept a little. Thank you for staying Roza.-Then he blew his nose.  
-Just stay in bed. You should rest. You have a high fever and If you won't rest I'll drag you to the hospital by myself.-Dimitri made a weird face after I said that. I was wondering either he's going to argue with me or just be fine with what I said. But he just sneezed. Triple again. They were uncovered just like the last ones. I guess he isn't a sanitary type.  
-Has none ever taught you to cover your mouth when you sneeze?- I teased him. I didn't actually mind. I was probably going to end up sick in bed anyway.   
-I am just too exhausted, Roza. -This one sentence melted my heart. I could try to be ice-hearted for him. I could try to behave like his just my mentor and nothing more. But it'll never be true. He might be a Russian God, a respected guardian. He might kill strigoi without a blink of an eye but he's the one for me. And right now he looked so insecure. It was my duty to make him better. Not as a guardian but as me-Rose Hathaway.  
-If you're too exhausted to keep your germs to yourself then I bet that you're too exhausted to go to the meeting right comrade?-He smiled and then started to play with my hair. He loved my hair I knew that. I smiled back but a moment later he stood up and put on his brown leather coat. He was not going to listen to me.   
-No, stay in bed- I shouted at him and pushed him to bed. He lost his balance but did not fall.  
-You're weak. Can't you see that? Why you can't let me help!-I felt helpless. He sat on the edge of the bed and then I followed his lead.   
He started to cough his lungs out. Again. I could feel the heat that was pouring off him.  
-Rose, I have responsibilities. I can't just say I'm sick and leave my tasks. I am much better now and I promise you that after the meeting I'll come straight back here. Go to your room and rest a little. You must be tired and I can take care of myself. And remember that you have training tomorrow morning. -There was no sense in arguing with him at the moment. He wouldn't change his mind.  
-I'll clean it up a little while you're gone and then I'll go-I said. That was just an excuse. I was not going to leave I'll just wait for him to make sure he's all right and came back as he promised.  
-All right- He nodded and he directed to the bathroom. I could hear him sneezing. Triple again. And after taking a shower he left.   
When I was finally alone I realized how tired I am. So I decided to lay down for a moment. The bed smelled like him. And sheets were hot from his feverish body and humid from his sweat. I don't know how it happened but suddenly I was asleep. I saw Lissa. We were in a forest and the sun was shining. Strigois can't walk in the sun so we were safe. Lissa started to run. I tried to stop her. I was shouting but she acted as she couldn't hear me.  
Suddenly we ran out of the woods. I saw a lake which was oozing the smell of algae and sand everywhere. I turned back but trees disappeared. There was no Lissa. I was alone and the sun started to set. There were strigoi's all around me. I jumped into the lake and unexpectedly it was boiling hot. Too hot. As I woke up I realized what caused the temperature. Dimitri was back. And he scrambled to the bed next to me. He was coughing his cheeks were flushed and he was shivering. I stood up as quickly as I could.  
-I...'m sorry, didn't mean to wake you...up- he said but couldn't stop coughing.  
I started to rub his back gently. I looked at the clock. Only two hours passed since he went to the meeting. It's unusual. Majority of the meetings lasts more.  
-What happened? Why are here so early?-I asked as gently as I could  
-I guess I'm sicker than I thought. Anyway go to your room I don't want to get you si..-He froze. His nostrils flared and he started to rub them with his forefinger. He was already lying, wrapped in two blankets. He buried his nose in one of them and sneezed. Not triple this time but like six times. I would say double triple.  
-Do you see Rose? I am a nasty germ spreader now. I don't want you to see me like this.- He rasped.  
\- But I want to see you like this.-I looked him straight in those brown eyes. And then I kissed him. He was laying on his back so I climbed on him. He was burning up and his body was covered in sweat but he returned my kiss. I didn't know if there were flames of lust or his fever. We started to take off our clothes. He wanted me. From time to time he had to turn his head from me to cough or sneeze(triple). It didn't matter that he was sick. It didn't matter that I was his student. We suited each other. Like two missing halves. That was the right place for me. I was made for him. I could feel his warm hands slipping through my back and then hair. I was touching his naked torso. I was kissing him everywhere. It felt like heaven.  
Suddenly he broke out from the kiss.   
-You should go now, Rose.

Part 2  
-I can't believe you do this again. You can't run all the time. You act like a coward- I couldn't believe I said that. But I was hurt. I could feel my heart shutter in a million sharp pieces.   
\- Don't make it even harder...- he had to stop talking because of another coughing fit. I wanted to help him but I couldn't move. I felt paralyzed.   
-You... you know it can't be like that- he was still getting rid of the cough.  
-I...-He tried to continue but I interrupted him.  
-I will go-I said half conscious of what was happening. I started walking towards the door. Everything around me started to shutter. I felt the tears agglomerating in my eyes. I couldn't let Dimitri see them. I couldn't let him see how badly he has hurt me. Shit. I hit the corner of the drawer with my feet. It hurt as fuck. I couldn't resist crying anymore. I felt a warm thing on my back. I turned around and I saw him. My Russian God, my Dimitri who was no longer mine who no longer wanted to be mine.   
-Don't touch me. If you don't want me you can't touch me.- I punched him. Normally it wouldn't do anything to him but today he was weaker. He stopped my hand but I saw a grimace on his face which meant that it hurt. I hated myself for making him hurt and I hated him for making me hurt yet I still loved him. And I knew that despite everything in the world he loved me too.  
-Go back to bed, Dimitri- this was all I managed to say. I took his hand and I pulled him to bed. I was crying like a little brat. He stayed silent and let me take him to bed.  
-Now stay here an rest. I will bed going as you wanted-as i said that i turned back and started walking towards the door.  
-Roza- he whispered. I didn't even glance at him. I just couldn't. Even though he called Roza he still didn't want me here.  
-Don't walk away like that. You know that's a good solution. And I'm sorry I called you that. It won't happen again, I meant Rose.   
-No, you didn't- and after saying that I closed the door behind me.  
I had none to talk. The moment when I was alone came after all. I couldn't speak to Lisa because she didn't know about my affair. I couldn't speak to my mother because she was no mother. And I couldn't speak to Mason because he was dead. He was no longer here. The heaviness of that thought crushed me. It was the first time since he died when I felt so alone. I could have just stayed silent when I saw Dimitri didn't feel well. I could have gone to my room and everything would still be just as it was. I could have helped Mason. I could have saved him. At that point, I found myself unable to breathe normally. Everything was too much and then everything was just dark.   
I woke up in a hospital bed. Dr Olendzki was standing in front of the door.   
-Why am I here?- I asked her and she turned around to the sound of my voice.  
-You passed out but since you're awake and your blood tests are fine we can let you go. Do you remember what happened?  
-Nothing special. I was just walking back to my room and then everything went dark.- I couldn't tell her about Dimitri. That was a noble lie.   
-What were you doing near the teachers' quarters?- that was a good question. Like a really good one. Well, I was just breaking up with the person I love because he is my teacher and there is this stupid law that it's forbidden to be with your student when you're a teacher. Oh and I forgot to add that this "he" is Dimitri and for God's sake I should call him Mr Belikov even if it's just in my mind because we are no longer in a relationship or something.   
-I was just looking for Mr Belikov to ask about our next training but I couldn't find him.  
-He is sick Rose. So I think he won't come. You don't have to look for him after you check out.  
-How do you know he is sick?-It flew out my mind before I could think. I started to worry. But fuck I shouldn't have said that.  
-He is in the hospital right now. He was looking for you and we found him with a really high fever near the hospital. Now I'm pretty sure that he just wanted to cancel your next training. He could have just called another teacher. You might want to see him and tell him that you know now. He didn't believe us when we told him you are okay with it. We assumed that you would understand that he's sick and won't make it.  
She didn't know. He must have followed me. He cares about me I knew that. But Jesus he was sick and I told him to stay in bed. What was he thinking? Now I really needed some curses in Russian because I'm going to let him know what I think about his stupid behaviour.  
-Where is he?  
-Room number 56 but do it quick he still doesn't feel well.  
I nodded and headed towards his room. I opened the door and there he was. Laying in the bed. All weak and covered in sweat.   
-Roza, you came. I'm so sorry Roza. It was stupid- he tried to sit up but was interrupted with the coughing fit.   
-You are stupid. So stupid that I can't believe you're my teacher.- I was trying to sound angry but when I looked at him I just couldn't.  
-I told you to stay in bed. What were you thinking?- I punched him gently in the shoulder.  
-I heard you crying. And moya lyubov' it broke my heart.   
-But you're still my teacher. We can't be together we just can't even if we want to and I won't survive another argue like this.-I opened my heart to him. I belonged to him and now there was nothing I could do about it. My happiness was in his hands.   
-For now. But Rose it's your last year and you'll be an adult and then. Then we can be whatever we want but I'll make sure that we'll do it together.   
-Comrade, aren't you a little too cheesy?- I asked him but we knew that it was exactly what we wanted. I looked into his perfect brown eyes and again I knew that we were meant for each other and that together we can manage everything we want.   
-I'm going to check out. I have orders. I have to go check one house which was attacked by strigoi a few hours ago. Maybe you'll go with me? I won't let you walk into the house but we can drive together and I'll tell Mrs Killova that it's a kind of your personal ground lesson.  
-Comrade, I see that I have to remind you that you ended up here because you're sick. And as much as I would enjoy a private trip with you I think that you ought to rest.- I knew I was right but of course while I was saying that Dimitri has already put on his cluster and was ready to go. I couldn't blame him for that. That was a part of why I loved him.


End file.
